Dating when girls get angry dating turbo
The idea that we’re only attractive within a range of sizes is absurd. The homeboy of one of my homegirls happened to be in the club. My homegirl indicated to me at some point that I should make sure to meet him, because she thought we’d have similar interests.Not one to be shy, I did at some point attempt to strike up a conversation. I mean he literally didn’t look me in the eye, made no real attempt at conversation, and pretty much gave me the brush off.I know that we have huge problems with obesity in Black communities.I have thought long and hard about my relationship to food (and exercise), and I have started to make some changes in order to remain healthy.But what I call thick and what the average brother calls thick is not the same thing. (Sister looks fabulous, by the way.) Not quite Gabourey Sidibe thick. And when I was doing the online dating thing (I’ve tried it twice, and I’m taking a break) I saw one brother that specifically said, “I’m not into the Mo’Nique thing, ladies.” Translation: No fat girls need apply.It’s not popular to say (and I’m sure I’ll be e-stoned for saying it anyway), but if you’re overweight and serious about expanding your dating options, it may be worthwhile to shrink your waistline.What I’m getting at is something much more fundamental. Several months ago I was in a bar/lounge type spot, with a group of 7 or 8 homegirls.Because desire is socially constructed (no matter how much folks justify their limited dating choices based on ‘natural preference’), the fact that we live in a fat-hating culture greatly affects who we’re attracted to, and what we find attractive. We ranged in size and skin tone, from short and petite, to tall and lanky, from light-skinned to dark-skinned, from skinny to fat (me being the fat one), and everything in between. My girl gave us his vital statistics and it turns out the brother is highly intelligent and very accomplished. This I discovered, as I watched him at different points during the evening, strike up a conversation and flirt with every single girl in the crew—except me.
Why the unique snub reserved for the one fat girl in the crew?
Even so, one could argue that these mainstream films reflect the desires of white America, or more to the point, white men, and not Black men, which up to this point is the only group of men I’ve dated.
But with brothers I find, that they, too, have internalized a particular relationship to the body-type most associated with the mammy figure.
When I look in the mirror, for the most part, I like what I see.
I like my curves, I like ass, I like my legs, I like my boobs (which I only have in abundance, when I’m tipping the scales), and I like my face.